When we lost my sister, it left a void that words can’t begin to fill.
She was young, vibrant, and full of life. Her passing came like a lightning strike - sudden, devastating, and far too soon. Not once in our lives did we imagine grieving for her... it was always the other way around in our heads. It just didn’t make sense.
But as we struggled to come to terms with the emotional wreckage, another storm began brewing quietly in the background - one we were completely unprepared for:
She didn’t have a will.
She had multiple bank accounts - not with vast sums, but certainly not insignificant either. Just enough to make you think, we can’t just leave this behind. Yet, trying to access or close those accounts was a nightmare. Every step required us to visit branches, produce evidence, answer questions that pierced the rawness of our grief, and constantly relive the pain.
I still remember standing in the YES Bank branch, tears rolling down my face as I tried to explain her death and request to close her account. It was one of the lowest points of my life.
Loss is hard enough. But dealing with bureaucracy in the middle of it? That’s a kind of emotional toll no family should ever have to pay.
That’s when we knew: We had to set up our own Will
Especially with our circumstances - me and my wife being from different home countries, raising children here in Australia, away from extended family - we couldn’t afford to “leave it to chance.” We needed to be intentional.
But we won’t lie - the process was emotionally draining.
We were asked questions we never thought we’d face:
🧩 1. What if your partner remarries after you're gone?
It wasn’t about jealousy. It was about understanding how the assets we built together should be managed, protected, and honoured if one of us had to walk this path alone.
👶 2. What will happen to the kids?
Being first-generation immigrants, we had no ready fallback plan. This made us pause and really consider - who would we trust to raise our kids if we couldn’t?
⚖️ 3. How much control do we want from the grave?
A confronting question. But it forced us to ask: do we want to set boundaries around how our legacy is handled, or trust others to decide?
💼 4. What are all the financial instruments we own?
We documented everything - superannuation, investments, bank accounts, insurances, properties, and more. We outlined the procedure for what happens next - if one of us passes, and if both of us do.
📝 5. What instructions should we leave behind?
We included clear directions:
Who becomes the guardian of our children?
Who manages our finances?
In the event if we are in capacitated - whom do we want to give powers to in making medical decisions?
Do we want our friend to have complete control on our finances and kids or do we want to have two friends coming together to make decision?
Whom do we trust to that level of extent in a far away land?
What flexibility they should have in decision-making?
If you are like any of us first immigrants into this country - you’d have no answers to many of these questions. But you finding answers and pondering these questions will definitely make you be in a better place than leaving it all for a chance and a choice.
This wasn’t just legal paperwork - it was a relationship reset
As we answered these tough questions, something unexpected happened:
We became stronger.
We deepened our trust.
We moved from assumptions to clarity. The car drive back home from the lawyers office to home felt heavy and also a tad bit relieved.
Writing a will isn’t just about death. It’s about taking responsibility for life and after life too - for our partner, our kids, our legacy.
And here’s the hard truth:
No one - absolutely no one - will care about your family, your money, or your kids as much as you do.
That’s why this work matters.
That’s why we did it.
That’s why we’re urging you to do it too.
If you’re ready to take that step…
We’re happy to share the contact of the person we went through for setting up our will. This isn’t a referral or business promotion - it’s simply that we’ve walked this difficult road and want to make it a little easier for someone else. And you can find someone who would do the same service too. Finding a suitable person and getting it done is paramount than debating, deliberating and or feeling it tough to bring this topic with your partner.
If it helps you take action, or even just have that conversation with your partner (as heavy as it may be), it’s worth it.
Because one day - hopefully far, far from today - when life throws its next curveball, may the only thing your family has to deal with… is love and healing.
Not paperwork.
Not bureaucracy.
Not uncertainty.
Some Frequently Asked Questions:
How about setting up online will?
Having one is still better than not having anything in place.
How about testamentary trusts?
I did enough research on this one and decided this is not for us for the assets that we hold for the costs and the paperwork that it carries.
Do I recommend online will or setting up with a lawyer?
I don’t know your personal circumstances, assets and or kids you’d have. We went with a lawyer because we wanted it to be rather more thought through and be thorough.
How much does it cost?
I my memory serves I recall - we paid somewhere about 2k for setting it up. The costs vary significantly as time goes by. I don’t know what it’s now.
Nice reminder