There wasn’t a grand plan. No spreadsheets or investment calculators. Just a scream - raw, loud, heartbreaking - from the other room.
Our youngest son, Nathan, was sick that day. We were both working from home, juggling meetings, deadlines, and a baby who just needed someone to hold him. Like many families, we had a shared responsibility - Mrs would take the morning shift with him, and I’d take the afternoon.
But that day, things didn’t go to plan.
She was in the middle of a high-pressure client call when Nathan started crying - not the usual fussy cry, but the kind that hits deep in your gut. He was sick, confused, uncomfortable - and alone. And she was torn. She couldn’t mute the call. She couldn’t walk away. She had to choose the meeting. It’s not an intention to portray her wrong in anyways - she is the best mom that our kids could ever have. Period. This is just a struggle that we all have as everyday parents trying to juggle work, kids, cooking, cleaning, washing and all other social commitments too.
If there are any single mom who is managing kids and work - they're a real heroes the ones to be celebrated. Not just on mother's day. Every single day. It's not easy. They truly deserve to be.
That scream cut through the walls and straight into me. I ran in and picked him up from the carpet on the ground, feeling his tiny body burning with fever, his face red from tears. And saying to him - “Don’t cry! Daddy is here!”
And I remember holding him and thinking - What are we doing?
We brought this little boy into the world, and yet in his moment of need, we weren’t truly there. Not because we didn’t want to be - but because we couldn’t.
That moment didn’t just crack me open - it peeled away layers of assumptions and left me face-to-face with questions I hadn’t let myself ask.
Why does it feel like life is always one bad meeting away from breaking us?
Why is earning a living so unrelenting - like we’re sprinting on a treadmill with no pause button?
Why are we giving the best of ourselves - our calm, our creativity, our energy - to people who wouldn’t even notice if we burned out tomorrow?
That was the start of our journey toward FIRE - Financial Independence, Retire Early. But not because we hated work. It was because we wanted choice.
The quiet cracks beneath the surface
That moment with Nathan lit the spark. But there were deeper, older cracks forming under the surface for a while.
The constant what-ifs.
What if there's another restructure?
What if my role is made redundant in the next reorg - again?
What if I can’t keep up with the pace of change - the new certifications, the shifting frameworks, the evolving expectations?
What if staying “relevant” means constantly running with no finish line in sight?
Even when things are "stable," there’s a low hum of anxiety. A back of the voice constantly murmuring am I good enough am I contributing enough, will they release me and let me go?. A subtle but persistent tension that never truly leaves - including the 3 AM wake ups in the middle of the night and the mind voice contemplating every detail of the discussion - trying to decipher the unspoken words and or attempting to read in between the lines of an email / text message. And worst, when your manager ghosts you! Uff!
And the culture? Often unspoken, but deeply ingrained - if our manager isn’t happy, we smile wider, we work harder, and stay later. We bend. We stretch. We internalise their dissatisfaction as our failure. Then we double down.
Not because we want to. But because that's the cost of keeping our spot.
Forget about staying afloat - if we wanted promotion or something else from the org - the only way to get to is by hard slog - RFPs, Case Studies, Answering what else you did to contribute to the organisation apart from managing clients and the deliverables. Honestly staying afloat in itself is more than overwhelming - but to performing two levels up above even to get one up role change is a unicorn.
As Brené Brown puts it:
“When we trade our authenticity for what we think we need to be, we end up losing ourselves.”
Somewhere along the way, I started asking harder questions:
What if this career I’m working so hard to protect doesn’t even align with my values anymore?
What if I’m not growing - just contorting?
What if success here means sacrificing the very things I hold dear - time, presence, peace and health?
At work, it’s often those who can stretch the most - emotionally, mentally, and even ethically - that get ahead. But stretch far enough, and something snaps. That could be a broken relationship and a lacklustre care for a crying baby.
And so, without a clear map or model to follow, we turned toward FIRE.
Not to run from something - but to reclaim something.
As Naval Ravikant famously said:
“Escape competition through authenticity.”
FIRE Isn’t an escape. It’s a Reclamation
For us, pursuing FIRE isn’t about never working again.
It’s about not being trapped.
It’s about creating a life where meetings don’t matter more than sick children.
Where a reorg doesn’t threaten our entire sense of financial security or heck most importantly our Self-Worth!. Because for most of us the Self worth is tied to the pay check that we make and the job we hold on to.
Where we get to choose work that aligns with who we are — not just what pays the bills.
It’s a slow, deliberate climb. With compromises. With choices that require intention. But every step forward gives us a little more breathing room.
A little more us back.
One day, I want to look back and say: We did it differently. We didn’t wait until it was too late to reclaim our time, our values, our lives.
And when that day comes, I’ll think back to that one scream - the one that started it all.
I don’t know if he remembers that day like I do. Deep down I really hope he doesn’t. But for me - it’s seared into memory.
It was a moment.
A turning point.
The kind of shift that doesn’t announce itself, but quietly reshapes everything inside.
And my little one?
He’s always — always — loved me with this big, open, unconditional heart.
The kind of love that makes me feel like maybe I did something right in this world.
It’s hard to put into words, really.
But of course, I still have my moments. I get mad. I raise my voice.
Sometimes I yell, and a minute later, I wish I hadn’t. That familiar sting of regret comes creeping in after the storm.
Still… every night, no matter what kind of day we’ve had, he has this little ritual.
He climbs into bed, pulls the blanket up to his chin, and says in the softest voice:
“Daddy… I always want you.”
And I look at him - this tiny human who somehow already holds my entire heart - and I say:
“I’m always here for you, darling.”
He pauses. Then asks the same question he always asks:
“Always?”
“Yes, always. Until I die.”
There’s a beat. Then his voice, a little shaky:
“I don’t want you to die… EVER.”
I take a breath.
“Unfortunately, sweetheart… everyone who’s born in this world will have to die one day.”
He thinks for a second, then smiles.
“Okay. So when you die and become a star in the sky… and when I die and become a star… I’ll be right next to you.”
I mean - other than a tear dropping moment that it is - what else I could say to comprehend this love from my tiny human. I’m immensely grateful to have this person by my side.
And, at that one moment? It makes everything else make sense. Followed by a big bear hug!
It’s not about chasing FIRE for numbers or freedom on paper.
It’s about being there - really being there.
For moments like this.
For the love that asks for nothing except our presence.
While this has been our personal journey - what’s your inner voice calling or what circumstances that you’ve seen that makes you pursue your dreams or climbing up that Financial Wisdom / Independence mountain? I’m definitely not at the peak, I’m a fellow traveller - happy to share whatever I know and keen to listen to what you may have to share or offer me too. Thank you!
If you’ve made it this far — thank you.
You already know how deeply I care about supporting life-changing causes like Pancare’s cancer research and the movement against mitochondrial disease (MITO).
🟣 On May 18th, I’ll be walking 35 km to raise awareness and funds - and I’m inviting you to support me in spirit by supporting these missions.
Every dollar makes a difference.
👉 Donate here to Pancare: https://pancare.org.au/
👉 Support my 35 km MITO Walk: https://event.bloodylongwalk.com.au/fundraisers/samguruswamy/melbourne
And if you like my work and want me to keep doing more - you can thank me by buying a coffee: https://buy.stripe.com/bIY5nF3cxeitbIcdQQ
Next post is on : What stirred me to start the blog and writing on Financial Education!
And to all the amazing mom's - Happy Mother's Day 💐
You all deserve to be celebrated for the love, care and affection that you show everyday. Even when you shout at the kids - it essentially the love that's shown differently.
As part of this Mothers day - we from our family wish you the very best financial future - the one that will set you up for future success. How about starting with the first step on tracking your net worth.
Stay Happy and Stay Blessed!